Art and Cultures
First Time Dating in USA

Hasan A. Yahya, Ph.Ds

 

What questions pup up in your mind: What should I do in the first Date? In psychology we learn that, if you were a boy or girl then your answer will vary drastically, girls look inside to themselves , boys, however, look for outside themselves for answers.

Psychology tells us that certain variables determine the answers. For example, age, sex, race, religion, marital status, education, wealth, etc., While most first dates come early in high schools, we will answer the question through that age, which is roughly between 12 and 18. In America, teenagers learn about dating from friends, media, and by reading about it. They have answers according to their knowledge. But really, what should I wear, pups-up in the minds of girls, in other words, how I look, or should I look in the first date? But this is not the proper question to ask. A self control, and self conscious girl, may ask other questions about perfume, dress, but what you need to ask in the first date is: Do I know my partner?

This question makes you prepare certain question to know more about the guy or girl. Statement like: tell me about your self, what you like, and how do feel? Something like that. The purpose of course is to know more about your partner, but if you know him for more than three months, and you know him very well, because he’s or she’s in you school, or your class, or your neighborhood, your questions should be about something else. For example, how generous I should be, how much permissive I should be dealing with certain questions about sex? About your secrets, which you want to keep for yourself. You don’t know whether the date will be successful or not.

Suppose talking about oneself in the first date, you have to be a good listener, and alert to follow up with questions about certain words, or feelings. Some interesting points, like, how is that? Why do you think so? Or I like this, say it again. Laugh on his jokes, but not to show that you are making laughs out of contest.

A boy or a girl likes to show kindness, concern to please each other, and both will be conservatives in their behavior, especially showing their bad qualities. So advice to both girls and boys in their first date can be suggested here:

1.         Imagine what you like, but never give bad comments about your partner’s behavior. Keep bad comments to yourself for later times.

2.         Don’t ask too much questions, and know your limitations. For example, on the dinner table, don’t look in the Menu for the most expensive items to test his generosity. So, the proper behavior is give him or her the option to choose for both.

3.         Don’t act your behavior. In other words, don’t pretend that you are miss perfect. Show normality even if your partner is charming, and you feel positively strong emotions toward him or her.

4.         Real emotions may be told and show mutual respect. Because it will remembered life long.

5.         Pay your share (you and her or him) so you will not loose control of the situation. Males usually insist to pay.

6.         If he refused and insist, you will know of his personality and will know who will be the boss for years to come, If the consequences of the first date were right.

7.         A kiss at the end of the date, which girls expect as a farewell moment, should be short one.

The question which is often not asked from girls is, what are the expectations or the consequences of the first time dating? The answer for this question will be the subject of next article. Happy dating time, folks. (642 words) www.dryahyatv.com

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About the author:

Hasan Yahya is an American Arab scholar, and a professor of sociology. He published 25 plus books and 220 plus articles on sociology, psychology, politics, poetry, IQ Test Measurement and short stories in both Arabic and English. His articles may be found on articlesbase.com, Face book and other internet sites. His recent book published on Amazon titled: Lawlaki: Lawlaki Poetry Diwan, Zawjat lil-Bay's: Tales and articles, 2000 Bayt Min al-Shi'r al-Arabi and al-Zawaj wal-Jinse fil-‘Alam, Zawjat lil-Bay’, and al-Zawaj wal-Jinse fil ‘Alam, all in Arabic.(On Amazon, 2009). His recent activities reflects his talents and knowledge on youtube’s Dr. Yahya Channel TV under the name of askdryahya. www.hasanyahya.com